Hey mama, does this sound like your day? You complete some sort of schooling with you child or children – if school is still closed for you, drop them off and pick them up – if school has reopened for you, make sure that they are fed and healthy, you respond to work emails, attend a few online meetings while already planning for meetings next week, you have to deal with house issues (like something breaking down in the house), make check up appointments for your little ones and probably have to reheat your coffee about four times!
Now, if you are also a mama trying to start up a side business or running a side business (mompreneurs), you have done all of this, while fighting off the anxiety and nagging guilt over not being able to focus on putting in the time your dream business deserves. You’re dealing with all this while managing a few aches and pains maybe (Reminder, make that doctor’s appointment you have been putting off to check on yourself).
You are now working out how to wash up the dishes in the sink (which you have not had a chance to get done yet today), tidy up and get your little one or little ones to bed on time, so that you can put in some hours into that dream. But wait, you forgot that you husband or partner will be home soon and you do really want to spend some alone time….now what?
No mama, I have no hidden cameras in your house. Yes mama, there are many like you out there right now (Show of hands please 🙋♀️). This may not have been exactly how today went for you, but I am sure you have had some of these days, right?
Can We Be Real With Each Other?
How many times do you find yourself questioning your dreams? How many times in a day or week, do you have that out-of-body experience, where you look at yourself doing so much in your daily routines, but feeling like you are doing nothing at all? It’s a rare mom, especially a working mompreneur, who —at some point—doesn’t feel stuck.
Either you begin to experience burnout, or you aren’t reaching your goals and can’t seem to get past the plateaus you’ve found yourself on.
It’s a normal part of being a mom, but staying there isn’t.
Once I decided to start reaching out, to intentionally find myself a coach who I could be authentic with about what I was feeling, I realized that I was not the first. I realized, that the successful mompreneurs I admired, had figured out how to overcome the hurdles, find structure in their chaos and continued to grow.
They also had one other thing in common; they were unapologetic about having goals purely for themselves.
These moms continued to take care of the needs of their families and gave time to their responsibilities, but they also included themselves in their list of priorities.
Why do we feel guilty admitting that we want to accomplish something for ourselves? Why is it wrong for a mom to want a part of her life, not tied to her partner or children? Why can’t a mom feel pride in making her first sale online or completing a certification, while also feeling proud of her child’s behaviour at school or her partners own success.
You can and you should!
3 Reasons You We Feel Stuck
- Lack of Clarity
When you don’t really know what it is you want…and I mean really, truly want for YOURSELF, you’re experiencing a lack of clarity. Is that house you wanted (that you think is way too much to clean), really what you wanted or something that came up, while you were discussing with your other half? You have thought about starting that business, but maybe you aren’t clear on who you’re meant to serve, or can’t quite envision what you can offer. Or maybe you can’t even picture what your ideal side business would look like.
These are all symptoms of a lack of clarity, and they can stop you from achieving some really life changing goals. Do you even have your goals?
If you’re suffering from a lack of clarity, take a step back and do some brainstorming (or brain dumping) to get everything out in the daylight where you can see it. This alone can help you get clear on what your next step is.
2. Lack of Focus
If you’re clear on your goals but you’re having trouble moving forward consistently, then a lack of focus might be your trouble. You start your day each morning with purpose, but by lunch it’s clear you haven’t accomplished anything you really wanted to.
You’re not a bad person, a bad mom or even a poor mompreneur. You’re just have trouble focusing on the next step that needs to happen to make your dreams come true.
Try this: With your end goal in mind, brainstorm the next physical action you need to take to achieve it. So if your goal is to set up an online store then one practical thing to do is to decide on the platform (Woo Commerce, EBay, Shopify, Amazon etc.) Do not rush this process!
In Project Management we call it a WBS (Work Break Down Structure), where you identify all the jobs/tasks you need to execute, to ultimately complete your project…in this case, your goal.
3. No Excitement
Bored? Lost interest in the things you once loved? This is, unfortunately, pretty common. For mompreneurs, you see it when they start jumping from business to business, never spending enough time in any one endeavor to see it through to success.
Staying excited about your goals, starts with our first point – clarity. You are more likely to lose excitement over something you never truly wanted to do to begin with. But when you have a vision for YOURSELF, you keep going even when you’re faced with the day-to-day drudgery that we are destined to encounter at some point. If you want to start a business, know that not everything will be fun, but if you keep your “why” in mind, it can help you get past the dull spots.
Do yourself a favour and try this out!
One great way to start dealing with these three pain in the you know what feelings, is actually quite simple. It’s a trick that the world’s most successful entrepreneurs have been using for decades: vision boards. These fun and colorful tools are often just what you need to clarify your dreams, work out and focus on your next steps, and stay excited about your goals.
Vision boards can be as simple as a few images clipped from a magazine and pinned to a corkboard, or as complex as a framed poster with hand-lettered quotes and personal inspiration. The choice is yours.
Vision Boards, however, do not work because you put pictures on a board. As one of the most powerful tools of visualization, Vision Boards only work when:
- You take the time to truly deep dive into your being
- You identify what you have been afraid to admit your desire and
- Your implement your vision board in an intentional way; where placed, how to use etc.
- It is not used in isolation
Check out our tips on how to truly make vision boards work for you here https://lifeadorn.com/how-to-use-vision-boards-in-practical-way/
Give Yourself Permission To Want Something For YOU
Being a mom is tough. You are not only responsible for yourself, but for another human being. But you do not stop being you, when you become a mom. Your desires and ambitions do not suddenly disappear, although we may push them aside for a while. No, becoming a mother should help you become a better version of yourself.
At the risk of sounding like a cliché, when we take care of ourselves, we can take even better care of our loved ones. Keep your cup filled, by allowing yourself the chance to accomplish YOUR goals.
Allow yourself to be clear about what YOU want
Create a system that will allow you to focus; like scheduling and lists
Be intentional about learning your internal alarm, that tells you when you are no longer excited about something. Look out for the signals. Take a moment, when they sound off to remind yourself of your why.
Be open to Vision Boards, you may like it. It’s completely personal, super fun, and best of all, it works. Give it a try next time you’re feeling stuck mama
🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻
