Have You Treated Yourself to a Coffee Today?
Maybe you don’t like coffee and that is okay; we can’t all love the stuff – I love it! {Imagine getting two coffee makers as Christmas gifts, because everyone know just how much you love coffee.}
Having my morning coffee, is like my own little piece of heaven every day. Truth is, there are days when I just need the functional benefit of coffee more than anything else; but generally taking time to make myself a cup of coffee before attending to the needs of the world, makes me feel good.
So while I use a cup of coffee, the question was more than just whether you have had a beverage or a caffeine fix. It is really asking whether you have given yourself permission to do something for you today. Many of us feel guilty if we do things for ourselves. After all, isn’t it selfish to spend time, money or energy on yourself when you have others to take care of? With everything going on in the world right now, how can you possibly think about doing something for you?
Whilst foregoing some self-indulgence may seem admirable and prove to be immediately justifiable, the problem over time is that if we constantly deny ourselves things for the sake of helping others or because we question our right to focus on self, eventually we can become quite burnt out and resentful about our circumstances.
Why do we suck at taking care of ourselves?
By now, you already know that self-care is important for your wellbeing right? It’s almost become a cliché. If you’re a mom, especially, then like me you are probably tired of being told that you are not doing enough of it. You are not alone. As someone diagnosed with Connective Tissue Disorder and Lupus, I know that keeping my mind and body in the best of shape, helps fend off flares and generally give me more better days, than the not so good ones. Research shows that 60 – 70% of chronic illnesses are linked to recommended aspects of self-care. So why do I struggle to, at a minimum, engage in intentional self-care?
A 2019 poll found that out of more than 1000 people, 44 percent believed that “self-care is only possible for people with enough time, and 35 percent believe self-care is only possible for those with enough money” (Healthline).
Even when you know how important self-care is to your wellbeing, it isn’t always easy to incorporate it into your daily routine. How do you justify time alone or time spent on yourself, when you have family duties, so many things on that to do list, work demands and more in your 24 hours?
Generally the roadblocks to selfcare can be summed up into 3 areas:
1 – It is often perceived as selfish
One of the main reasons we fail to take care of ourselves, is because we feel it is selfish. It could be that you feel guilty when you take time to focus on you. Or, you may worry what other people think, or that you are a terrible parent for not focusing solely on your children’s needs.
It is a total myth that self-care is selfish. In fact, it can help you to be a better parent, friend, spouse and relative. The more you take care of yourself, the easier you’ll find it to take care of others. You’ll also show your children the importance of self-care. Teaching them to take care of their own needs is a crucial life skill that’s going to help them to grow up to be happier adults.
2 – Different approaches work for different people
Every one of us is different, which means we enjoy and dislike different things. When you initially look at examples of self-care, you’ll find a lot of them relate to things like reading a book or taking a hot bubble bath. These types of activities aren’t for everyone so they might feel self-care really isn’t for them. Grab our FREE Download – 50 Ways To Better Self-Care Assessment Guide now to check out so many simple ways Self-Care can be a part of your everyday life.
Self-care isn’t just bubble baths, yoga, and meditation. It is anything that relaxes and takes care of you. Remember, my cup of coffee? So, if you find going for a run is a more effective way of feeling good, that would be classed as a self-care task. If sitting for 10 minutes on the toilet, with the door closed while reading something totally for entertainment purposes, helps you calm down, that is your self- care.
If you find one self-care approach isn’t working, try something else. Self-care should be personal to your own needs.
3 – It requires effort
There is no getting away from the fact that self-care does take some level of effort in the beginning. When you aren’t used to making self-care a priority, you’re going to need to make quite a few changes to your routine.
Coming up with a self-care plan can feel like a chore, making it easy to put it off. Seriously, nobody has time for another to do list!
However, there are ways to reduce the effort. For example, focusing on one thing you want to improve at a time can really help. Perhaps you’d like to start journaling? Scheduling time – as in, putting it in your calendar as you would for another important appointment – to write your “Gratitude List” before going bed, for example, can be a great start. Or, if you’re looking to drink more water, focus on that goal first and set your alarm to remind you throughout the day.
If you break down your self-care tasks, it makes them much easier, reducing a lot of the effort involved and some of the pressure.
Allowing ourselves to self-care means we allow ourselves to sit in our favorite chair doing nothing for a few minutes, while we sip on that home-made cappuccino. It means giving ourselves permission to go to the gym or go for a solo walk, rather than feeling that report that needs writing can’t wait. Most of the time, with a little planning we can care for personal wellbeing and that simple step is guaranteed to increase our productivity and well-being both at home and at work.
Next time you decide to think twice about something you want to do, ask yourself why you are considering saying no to doing it. Of course, there are times when saying no is a necessity, but if it’s something your routinely say, try saying yes to a few things.
As you look after your own needs first, it becomes easier to look after the responsibilities that consume most of your day. That report that may have taken 2 hours to complete, may now only require an hour of your time, as you are mentally relaxed… and your body will thank you for it too.
Now, let me have my cup of coffee, while I try to remember to take my own advice😉☕
